You’re Not Alone
I get it, I really do …..
As a midlife woman there is so much to deal on a daily basis. Then, sometimes, life happens and the future that looked so safe and secure suddenly, through circumstances out of your control, isn’t there anymore.
Some of the things you may be facing are:-
- House move or relocation
- Relationship breakdown, divorce or bereavement
- Career changes or redundancy
- Health issues
- Your own emotions …… and everyone else’s
- The legal stuff
- Knowing what decision to make
- Paying the bills
- The cooking
- The cleaning
- Looking after the car
- Keeping on top of the garden
And the menopause ……..
Need I say more?
No wonder you feel overwhelmed, out of your depth, and sinking fast!
You just want the world to stop for a minute so you can get off, catch up on your sleep, gather your thoughts, and gain some normality before you jump back on again.
You long to wake up in the morning with enthusiasm, energy and excitement knowing no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it.
Friends and family are wonderful but sometimes it’s not possible for them to give you the help and support you need.
That’s where I come in.
I’m here to help you find a way through whatever problems are facing you.
Life has thrown me some pretty big challenges, including, being widowed twice and divorced once. I have had several successful careers, moved house more times than I can count, and lived on my own for nearly 25 years.
No matter how bad it may seem for you now …..
There is light at the end of the tunnel
You can get through it all…..
- You will discover strengths you never knew you had.
- You will discover the real you. Who are you now? Who do you want to be? Who have you never allowed yourself to be?
- You can find ways to achieve the dreams you thought were lost forever or you can create new ones which better suit the person you are now.
- You can paint the walls sky blue pink with yellow dots, eat ice cream straight from the tub, and dye your hair purple if you want to. The sky’s the limit!
- You can let go of the values, beliefs and behaviours that no longer align with your new life.
- It’s time to put you first.
Why I want to help you
I have had a very eventful, full-on life. At times I found it difficult to cope and turned to counselling to help me get through the dark times.
Counselling was great for clearing the crap from my past but I was always left thinking, what now?
I am a decisive, solutions focussed person. I enjoy being single, I have wonderful friends, and I love my life, but there was something missing.
Then I discovered life coaching…
In a nutshell, life coaching takes you from where you are now to where you want to be, but it’s more than that.
It’s having a non-judgemental, cheerleader, in your corner. Someone who is there just for you. Someone who is 100% on your side and who will give you the support you need.
For me, life coaching was the missing piece of the puzzle, so much so that 9 years ago I decided to train as a life coach so I could help other women who were facing challenges of their own.
Since then, I have worked with truly incredible women. They come to me for many different reasons but they all have the same thing in common and that is the will and determination to change their life for the better. They are prepared to summon up their courage to dig deep and face their problems head on so they can move on with their lives the way they want to, and I’m with them every step of the way.
Watching someone who is at the end of their tether take off like a rocket and soar, higher than they ever thought was possible, is immensely inspiring to me.
It’s very important to me that you receive the very best help I can possibly give you so you can achieve the results you are looking for.
Below are my main qualifications relating to Life Coaching: –
- Life and Wellness Coaching qualifications with The Institute for Life Coach Training (ILCT) based in the USA. This is one of the few places internationally which offers Life Coach training at a degree level which means that you will receive the best possible level of coaching.
- Level 1 and 2 counselling skills with East Riding College and I’m working on my level 3 qualification so I can help my clients beyond life coaching if needed.
- I am a CRUSE bereavement support volunteer. Which means that I have additional training which may help you if you are dealing with any form of loss.
- BA Hons in Business Studies with Leeds Metropolitan University. Plus, numerous other business qualifications. I can draw on this knowledge if you are self-employed or are thinking of starting your own business and need my expertise in this area.
Finally, I am a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) which is the world’s largest body of professionally trained coaches, and I am bound by their code of conduct and professional ethics which means you will be in safe hands.
How Life Coaching Can Help You
When you work with me you will not get a one size fits all magic formula. On the contrary, we will find out your very individual needs and work with them.
- You can work as quickly or as slowly as you choose to realise the results you want.
- You’ll have a safe non-judgemental space to talk about anything you like.
- You can discover what you really want.
- You’ll have the opportunity to uncover what’s stopping you from moving forward.
- You can explore the options available to you to achieve your desires before you jump into action.
- You’ll get as much tough love as you need to create the outcome you are looking for.
- You’ll have fun and probably surprise yourself.
- You will laugh and maybe cry.
- Everything discussed is totally confidential.
- Facing up to our problems and dealing with the things that bother us is rarely easy but the rewards are definitely worth the effort.
I believe everyone has the ability to overcome their problems and become the person they want to be – the real challenge is discovering what works for you.
Because when you learn how to listen to your own voice, you’ll let go of what’s holding you back, gain confidence in yourself and, discover the power within you.
By the time our work together is done you’ll know yourself inside out, have sorted every area of your life to your satisfaction, and be able to move forward confidently in your life knowing you are on the right path for you.
You really can do anything if you set your mind to it.
Don’t delay, book a free discovery call here
A Whistle-Stop Tour of My Life So Far …
I was an only child. My father had a violent temper and my mother was a workaholic who never wanted children, they divorced when I was 10.
I missed a lot of school due to childhood illnesses and as my mother didn’t value education highly, I received no parental support with school work. I was a very shy child and despite my school work constantly getting low marks, the teachers overlooked me. When I was 10 years old I took the 11+ exam and I shocked everyone, including myself, by how high my marks were.
High school followed the same pattern. When the “O” level results were announced, I had comfortably passed them all!
I left school when I was 15 years old. I returned as a mature student when I was 30, I had always wondered if I was clever enough to get a degree, the answer was yes, I came away with a BAhons in Business Studies. Despite getting a degree, I still didn’t feel I was good enough. Later when I was 40, I took an IQ test and was astounded to discover that my IQ is high than the average doctors, a frightening thought, but a much-needed confidence boost.
On leaving high school I trained as a hairdresser, as soon as I qualified, I left my scissors behind and travelled to America as a Nanny. Over the next 5 years I worked for 3 different families in the USA, Greece and the South of England, looking after children aged from 9 months to 9 years.
Child psychology fascinated me. I was also interested in the differences in the diverse cultures, attitudes and lifestyles around me.
On my return to the UK, I started work as a sales assistant in a fashion chain shop this developed my interest in colour analysis, styling and how our appearance influences others perception of us. I worked my way up to management and my final role was as a trouble shooter being sent to branches that had problems to sort them out.
After time out for my business degree I opened my own ladies wear shop. After 3 years of trading, it was ram raided and whilst it was closed for repairs, I had so many offers to buy me out, I put it on the market and sold it.
Then I played, taking jobs for the fun of it. I help out in a kennels and cattery, managed a tourist information office and started a social events group, which went on to be the most successful in the county. After leaving Just Good Friends I decided to settle down to a proper job, I joined a team at Truro College Business Centre as a business advisor and trainer running start you own business courses.
I met my soulmate when I was just 14 years old; he was killed in an accident when I was 15. This event spurred an interest in life after death, the meaning of life, spirituality, etc.
Despite numerous boyfriends over the next few years, I never found the same connection so I came to the conclusion that we only have one soulmate.
I married a man I thought I loved when I was 24, it didn’t work out and we were divorced a couple of years later. This made me question what makes relationships work. Happily, I was wrong about only having one soulmate and I met Ian when I was 27, he died suddenly 7 years later, this led me to research the bereavement process and the differences in experiencing the death of a partner and divorce.
I am optimistic that I will meet another soulmate, but until that time I am a happy single.
After my parents’ divorce, I saw very little of my father, and contact finally ceased between us when I was 13.
I had a difficult relationship with my very manipulative mother but left my job with Truro College and moved across the country to help care for her when my step father couldn’t cope any longer.
Unfortunately, he had left it too late and the stress of caring for my mother and running his business caused him to collapse. With my stepfather in hospital there was no one else so I stepped in to run his business.
Over the next year a lot happened. With me at the helm the business increased its profits, my stepfather and mother decided to divorce, my mother disowned me because I refused to take sides between her and my stepfather, my stepfather slowly recovered some of his health and I supported my sister-in-law through a very messy divorce. Two of my cats died and I renovated a house.
I thought things could only get better, I was wrong.
I was about to face a pretty challenging week ….
One Friday I received a phone call to say my mother had died, on the Sunday a close friend’s mother died, on the Monday the police opened a murder and fraud investigation into my mother’s carer, on the Tuesday my mother-in-law died and on the Thursday one of the two major suppliers to my stepfather’s business ceased trading! So many things happened that if it had been a film or a soap opera it would have been dismissed as being unbelievable!
Life continued for the next few months but the stress finally caught up with me and I had a nervous breakdown.
Counselling helped me clear the emotional baggage I was carrying around, and Life Coaching helped me move towards creating the life I wanted and becoming the person I want to be.
I know what it feels like when you seem trapped in a situation and can’t see a way out. How impossible it seems to be able to find the energy needed to fight your way out.
The knowledge, the tools, and the support you need to turn your life around are here waiting for youS
The help you need is here
You have the potential to be the person you want to be. You may have to clear a load of crap, and it may involve several setbacks, but with work and determination you can uncover the diamond that has always been within you.
My most important values are
I have neglected myself for too many years and have started to have a number of injuries and niggling health issues. This has made me realise how lucky I have been to be so healthy over the years and what a fabulous body I have.
It was the wakeup call I needed and now my health is my number one priority. I have completely overhauled my diet and fitness regimes and am working on my mindset and lifestyle.
I fought depression since I was sixteen until I was in my mid-fifties when I was diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency.
Most of the time it was low grade making each day feel like I was walking through treacle or dragging a ball and chain around with me.
Sometimes it was so bad I had suicidal thoughts.
This has made me appreciate the importance of happiness and to value the joy in the simple things in life.
Freedom is important to me. Freedom to be myself, say what I want, do what I want, wear what I want, work when I want, live where I want, etc, etc I have realised that the only person keeping me contained and constricted is myself. I’m breaking free from the restrictions I have bound myself with!
Love is infinite. The more we love the more we can love but we are afraid to love because we might get hurt. We also forget to love ourselves. When we love ourselves it’s so much easier to love other people.
I have been working on forgiving myself for not being perfect and loving myself exactly as I am, warts and all!!
It takes courage to change our lives. It takes courage to look at the things we don’t like about ourselves; the things we are ashamed or embarrassed about. It takes courage to love unconditionally.
It can take courage to book your first coaching session.
Click here to book a discovery call now
You may not believe it yet, but you are a lion, my friend.
My superpowers are …
During lockdown I sent an email out to some friends and clients who have known me for a long time.
I was surprised at how many people responded, grateful for the thought they put into their answers, and humbled and proud of what qualities they see in me.
The email asked the following question ….
From the outside looking in, what do you believe are my 3 best, strongest qualities? My superpowers?
Each of the following quotes in a different colour
Strongest qualities as I see you:
Honest and trustworthy. I feel I could trust you in any event – even with my money!
Caring and helpful when you feel you can be.
Have lots of love to give.
What makes me pick up the phone??
You are often good at giving advice, for example regarding business matters or when somebody needs a friendly voice to listen to. If I call you I feel I will get a friendly helpful response – most of the time! You also have a nutty sense of humour.
KIND (helpful; understanding; supportive; loyal to friends)
INTERESTING (knowledgeable; personal experiences)
INTELLIGENT [researching; committed; resourceful and challenging (in a helpful way)]
- You are a very long-standing friend
- You are one of the most honest person that I know.
- No matter how you are feeling you always show the positive side to your personality.
I would say from my perspective your 3 strongest qualities are –
Dependable, I know that if you say you will do something you will do it. I also feel it will be done to a standard that you would expect not just to tick a box to say it’s done – there many examples but the cake boxes were a recent example measuring out the cake and wrapping each piece individually etc
Honest, not just free from deceit but also sincere. If I ask your opinion, I know that you will give me your honest opinion rather than telling me what you think I may want to hear.
Intelligent, not just book smart but also very intra-personally and interpersonally aware.
It was hard to narrow it down to just 3 to be honest but those would be the top 3.
Kindness (in abundance)
Depth of wisdom
I could have listed far more! Like friendliness, open-mindedness, hard-working, fun-loving, courageous… If it had been four… it would have been consistency/trustworthiness/optimism/depth of wisdom. But I decided that trustworthiness most reflected my experience of you, together with optimism and wisdom.
Quite a difficult exercise to choose only 3 positive qualities as I could think of quite a few more but I won’t tell you. Don’t want you to get big headed!
Interested in everything
Superpowers may be stretching it a bit but I would say you have a sense of humour, empathy with others and a keenness to get stuck in and have a go with something new.
3 Best, Strongest qualities Good Listener, Good Organiser, shows kindness and compassion and honesty
1) always available at the end of the phone to talk with.
2) a good listener but able to offer constructive advice.
3) cares about other people and will put herself out to help if needed.
Well you do like getting the grey cells working on a very cold and dreary Saturday afternoon. Thinking of the qualities was not the challenge, rather condensing them and finding the right words, but here goes.
- I value you that you are open minded and don’t rush to criticise or make judgements, you have a “measured” approach.
- You listen, are constructive and try to be helpful and have a can do, problem solving attitude that I appreciate.
- You are transparent and open about your feelings and life experiences.
Having been friends for so long………mmmm what can I say….
We are all such amazing powerful beings and I appreciate our friendship tremendously ❤️
You are loyal, sincere and non-judgmental ❤️❤️
Shall I go on??
Love knowing you are out there xxx
As for your greatest three strengths ….. for me they’d have to be:
Your knowledge of the history, planning and rebuilding of my home, and your willingness to pass it on to me.
Your positive outlook and forward thinking, coupled with your ability to follow your dreams with confidence.
Your overall friendliness, kindness and fun.
- always helpful.
- Very trustworthy
- Fantastic cook!
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